December 2008

Jill to Continue Teaching

Monday, December 8th 4:25pm Dear Diary, Jill has officially come out with a statement saying that she plans to continue working after I’m sworn into the Vice Presidency. I’m personally very glad that she’s made this decision. She’s always enjoyed working at the community college, and I’m certainly glad she’s not putting her career off the side while I’m in the White House. She certainly never did that before when I was a Senator for all those years, and I see no reason why she should now. Anybody who takes her English classes is lucky to have her, and I’d hate for those kids to miss out on one of the best English teachers around. Maybe I’m biased, and it’s true – I haven’t sat on in on any of her classes. But I know Jill is a brilliant woman, and she’s been a renowned teacher for years. Not to mention, I’m extremely proud that she’ll be one of the few Second Ladies to work while her husband’s in office. That not only shows where women are at, but how much she values working.

Entering the Realm of Hip Hop

Sunday, December 7th 11:55pm Dear Diary, I went to family get-together early this evening. It was lots of fun, and definitely a lot of fun to see everyone. Feels like I’ve been hanging out around Washington D.C. a lot lately, trying to stick around in case there’s anything I need to do. So it’s nice to get away and have some family time every once and again. This party was a big to-do, and the kids even ended up blasting some of their own tunes in the other room. I never was much of a fan of this new rap called “hip hop.” Sounds like an inappropriate bunny-hop genre, but I pretend to like it so that I can please the kids and hopefully identify with the younger demographic of voters. Well, I was standing outside the room making sure everything was ok when I heard, “I want Joe Biden, need Joe Biden” as part of the song. I thought the kids were just playing some kind of a promotional campaign video, but when I heard other lyrics saying, “You can have whatever you like,” I realized this was part of the song. I went in and asked the kids what it was called (“Whatever U Like” – title makes sense) and why it had my name in it.

Research Disclosed About My Ancestry

Friday, December 5th 6:30pm Dear Diary, Well, the information that traces my family back to the slavery days has finally come out. Barack’s campaign hired genealogists to research my family’s roots, as if to confirm that he is somehow connected to the plights of millions of African Americans’ ancestors. It’s fine. I understand why he had to do it. But I almost wish I could have found out this information outside of the political arena. It’s so personal. I appreciated that they kept this information under wraps for a bit so I could process the information. It’s so sensitive that I would have been insulted if it had just been reported like regular news. But I’m glad that it is being reported, because we certainly can’t hide from our past. And, knowing how far my family has come is quite an honor. After all, my great-great grandfather was born as a slave – not a free man. He would never have imagined, in his wildest dreams that his great-great granddaughter would be the First Lady.

New Position in the Office of the Vice President

Friday, December 5th 6:30pm Dear Diary, Can’t believe this economy. Bush has left our country (and the rest of the world) a mess, and go figure – we have to clean up after him. I do think it was wrong of him and the economists not to announce that we entered the recession last December. It wasn’t fair to the people to not inform them that they were about to hit hard times, since they could have at least planned for it. Regardless, I feel that it’s my responsibility to help do something about it. So, I’ve decided to help Barack with his Economic Recovery Plan by creating a new position within my office: Chief Economist and Economic Policy Advisor. I’ve named Jared Bernstein to fill this position for many reasons. He’s worked with a variety of domestic and international economic policies, and he’s dedicated to helping middle class families.

Meeting with Bill Gates

Thursday, December 4th 2:05pm Dear Diary, Yesterday I met with Bill Gates. I hate to admit it, but I did feel a little intimidated at the prospect of meeting with one of the richest and most philanthropic men in the world. But he was surprisingly friendly and affable, and we got along very well. He came to discuss a lot of issues, including global health and development, as well as the need to improve resources for secondary education, particularly for community colleges – many of the various aspects that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation focuses on. Bill also told me that he spoke before a crowd at George Washington University where he expressed his hopes that the Obama Administration will follow through on its pledge to double the foreign aid budget to $50 billion. I was so honored that Bill Gates wanted to speak with me. Of course, as a man with his power and influence, he could have met with Barack, so I felt glad to know that he chose me instead.

Inauguration Ball Dress Designs

Thursday, December 4th 1:10pm Dear Diary, It’s a wonderful time when you have fashion designers fighting over who’s going to get to design the dress that you’ll wear to the Inauguration Ball. And such amazing designers, like Betsey Johnson, Badgley Mischka, Monique Lhuillier, Isaac Mizrahi, Carolina Herrera, Karl Lagerfeld (for Chanel), Diane Von Furstenberg, Christian Lacroix, and Peter Som! My head is spinning with the possibilities of all these dresses, especially when I imagine myself twirling in all of these dresses. Here’s the website where I get to peruse my future gowns: I know I’ve been spending an excessive amount of time there, but it’s so fun to look at all the beautiful gowns! I haven’t decided on a favorite yet, but I’m sure I’ll find something classy. I’m also considering how I’m going to match Sasha and Malia.

Newest Briefing

Wednesday, December 3rd 5:50pm Dear Diary, Today Janet Napolitano and I were briefed by the Commission on the Prevention of Weapons of Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism. Whew, what a mouthful! Well, Bob Graham and Jim Talent led this and whoa. From the way it sounds, we really have our work cut out for us. I don’t want to give any details, in case this diary falls into the wrong hands. But I will say this – we have a lot to do over the next four (hopefully eight) years. I do have faith that Janet will make a good Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. Better than Michael Chertoff, that’s for sure. But I’ve had to wonder about a lot of the guys in the Bush Administration. How much say and influence did they really have? We all know that Dick Cheney and Karl Rove basically ran that administration. So I’d be curious to find out what Michael Chertoff came up with on his own. Still, I’ll be glad to be working with Janet on preventing the proliferation and use of the weapons of mass destruction.

More Rumors

Wednesday, December 3rd 5:45pm Dear Diary, Well, here we go again. I guess I’m going to be subject to the whims of the tabloids now that I’ve become such a central figure on the national and international stages. But this is ridiculous. Apparently, the London tabloids reported that Barack was buying me this expensive rhodium ring from Giovanni Bosco, an Italian designer, for $30,000. Supposedly, this is some sort of “thank you gift.” Puh-lease! Barack would never be dead spending frivolous money like that. Don’t get me wrong – I love expensive jewelery. But if I’m going to be seen as the “People’s First Lady,” then I can’t be caught dead wearing it. But still, the rumor is as spurious as the lobster and caviar one from that hotel that I allegedly stayed at during the campaign season.

Smoothing the Feathers with Palin

Tuesday, December 2nd 6:04pm Dear Diary, Today I spoke at the National Governors Association. Tried to be as light and funny as possible so as to not give away my bitterness about not having any real responsibility right now. And I called out Sarah Palin too, trying to show that I’m a gracious winner. I mentioned that since the race is over, maybe she’ll say hi to me since no one pays attention to me. I said that last part too. I’m hoping it resonates with others so there’s more media attention about my lack of publicity. But still, it’ll be interesting to find out whether Palin’s a poor sport. But along those lines, it’s pathetic that she still gets more attention than I do. Who’s the Veep here anyway? I’m going to have to see if there’s something that I can do about this. Already talked to Barack, but maybe this is the time I should take matters into my own hands.

Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State

Tuesday, December 2nd 4:23pm Dear Diary, Yesterday, Barack officially announced that Hillary Clinton will become our next Secretary of State. Itâ??s wasnâ??t a surprise, since the media has been discussing this for weeks now. But itâ??s nice to make it official. I am proud of him for giving Hillary Clinton such a huge role. It shows that heâ??s risen above their rivalry and are looking forward. I always did like Hillary, and I love to see a woman with that much power in our government. It doesnâ??t happen enough, so Iâ??m glad that my husband was behind it. Of course there is all that controversy about how much the two attacked each other while they were on the campaign trail. Hillary mocked Barack’s inspirational speeches by saying that his take on things is like assuming that a divine celestial choir. And that put in a tough spot, everyone will know what to do. And I’ll admit it – it was a little over the top. But then again, maybe that’s why she’s not our president.

Role of the VP

Monday, December 1st 4:48pm Dear Diary, I’ve just talked to Barack about specifying my role publicly. I mentioned that this is really embarrassing that I’ve been completely ignored since the election, and that all the other presidents have clarified their Vice Presidents’ roles within the first few weeks. Unfortunately, this rant ended with me saying, “I want some real power, man, and I want it NOW! And I want you to make sure the rest of the WORLD knows how much power I have!!” I may have gotten a little overwrought. But Barack, maintaining his stoic countenance as always, told me that he was actually saving this address for last, as it would be his best one. He further tried to reassure me that he would “do everything in his power” to get this going as soon as possible. Everything in his power? What does that even mean?! Does he basically have absolute power to make whatever announcements he wants? Ugh, if anything, I’m the one who’s lacking in power.

Joe Needs Some Responsibility

Monday, December 1st 7:48pm Dear Diary, Barrack just told the family at dinner about Joe’s “ridiculous” diatribe  about not having enough publicity. I do understand where he’s coming from. I don’t think Barack has specified my role enough, and he certainly could do a better job of refuting all those ridiculous “momification” rumors. But really, I don’t know what Barack’s waiting for. He really should have publicly discussed what Biden’s role will be in the administration, and given him some real power, instead of forcing him to always take the back seat. And I told Barack so. Barack, of course, got all political on me – saying he understood where I was coming from, and that “he’d do everything in his power” to get going on defining Joe’s duties. I certainly hope so, or I’m probably going to be hearing from Joe about this soon. Yours always, Michelle