December 2008

The Obama/Warren Complex, Part I

In two separate posts I will discuss Obama's choice to invite minister Rick Warren to speak at the inauguration. Already Obama has angered some liberals for selecting Rick Warren to speak at the inauguration festivities.  Actually, he already has irritated some of his supporters by appointing intelligent thoughtful people to his cabinet instead of party hacks.  Keeping Robert Gates really irked some of the more extreme members of the Democratic party, who view him simply as a retainer from a poisoned administration and not a guy whoâ??s just as willing to admit when things are going right as when things are going wrong.  Obama's promise to change Washington D.C.

Swimsuit Model Obama

This week, the mainstream news media finally got what it's been longing for all these months. They got to fuse their desire to report the real news with their desire to exercise all the recklessness and emptiness of the tabloids. What brought this on? Well, the same thing that has brought hope and exhilaration to millions, nay, billions world-wide. Of course, I'm talking about Barack Obama. Drink it in, folks. Some Hawaii swimming photos from months ago have resurfaced just in time to fill a programming gap on CNN. The 47-year-old President-Elect not only has the honor of being the first African-American president of the United States, he's also the first president to be featured in the same kind of media reporting as Amy Winehouse (NSFW). Now, I've heard a lot of phrases connected to Mr. Obama.

Politics 2.0

Our soon-to-be former President George W. Bush has talked a lot about legacy and how the writers of history will tell the story of leaders past. While Bush is typically referring to future revisionists painting him in a much kinder light than today's sentiment would likely reflect, the general concept of how we condense the complexities of major political events is an interesting one. While the cynic in me wants to call such reductiveness just another bit of evidence of the inherent laziness of people, I think there's more to it than that. Throughout the history of civilization people have faced the same problems over and over again. The scarcity of resource and the injustice of corruption aren't new or even unique enough to be anything more than footnotes after a few decades pass. This is why it will be interesting to see what people remember about the rise of Barack Obama. Even though there's been plenty of obligatory noise about him being the first black president, does anyone honestly believe that's the most historic thing about his career?

"New York Sugar Party" Doesn't Have As Nice A Ring To It

Well, it has finally started happening. For the past month and a half we've enjoyed an atmosphere of relative dignity and progress in the political realm. We elected a decent man for president, we've watched him consistently pick qualified people for high administrative posts and a lot of former rivals have been making nice. Queue New York's governor David Paterson. That's right. In an era torn by war, poverty, epic laundry lists of corrupt leaders and their crimes, in a time when Americans are dying on emergency room floors because they're poor and Western travelers get gunned down in luxury hotels, David Paterson was brave enough to do what bored Democrats just can't ever seem to resist. Paterson began making a lot of noise about a non-issue, then created an intricate plan to legislate an unnecessary inconvenience into our lives because of it. This week, Paterson proposed an 18 percent tax on sugary drinks for the purpose of fighting childhood obesity.

Puppy Woes

Wednesday, December 17 9:30am Dear Diary, I thought that I would be taking care of business by getting a puppy. Clearly, that is what America wants. A First (or Second) Puppy. But of course there are always going to be those who have to stand up and make a scene to get some attention. Heck, I’ve done it myself a few times. I guess I should have seen this coming when I bought the dog from the breeder. It’s just that it’s always been a dream of mine to own a German Shepherd. Jill and I just thought we’d go up there and see the puppies. But I just couldn’t resist when I saw them. After all, I’m only human. But now I’m getting slammed by PETA and the Humane Society for not buying from an animal shelter. According to PETA Vice President, Daphna Nachminovitch, “By paying money to a dog breeder, the Bidens have in effect signed a death warrant for a loving dog at an animal shelter who would have been thrilled to home with them.” I think the death warrant comment is a little over the top. But, of course, she’s not finished. “Mr.

A Cheap Shot

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 8:30pm Dear Diary, Barack and I are not friends. I can’t believe how he humiliated me in front of those kids. As if he really has to impress them. Come on! A bunch of fourth graders won’t be voting for another eight years or so. Why on earthy does he think has to impress them? The kids were just talking about what they’re learning in school. One kid raised his hand to announce, “Decimals.” So Barack has to blurt, “Decimals! Wow, Joe doesn’t even know his decimals.” What a cheap shot.  I would never come back with some bit talking about Barack’s fractions, or something like that. Honestly, it’s ridiculous. And it’s not like I need a bad rep when it comes to my capabilities in the White House. If anything, I need to be proving that I’m capable, since my responsibilities as a Vice-President have been few and far between, at best. Of course, I can’t complain, or say anything about this.

Apology for Ann? Not Necessary

Tuesday, December 16th 10:10pm Dear Diary, Ann Coulter never ceases to amaze me. And after being informed that she addressed me directly on the Hannity and Colmes show, I couldn’t help but watch the clip on YouTube, just to see what inanities she cared to express. As expected, it was ridiculous. Barack has decided (with my encouragement) to be sworn in as Barack Hussein Obama, since it is a tradition for the president to be sworn in using one’s entire name. To be sworn in as simply Barack Obama would be calling into question how comfortable Barack is with his own name, which then brings up a host of other issues and implications. He and I both agree that it’s better go about this according to protocol. But of course, all the conservative news stations and television shows are having a field day with this. Ann Coulter, one of Sean Hannity’s favorite guests, (guest being a more realistic title than “pundit,” which gives more credit than is due) has to make this a big deal. At first she called him “B.

Commentary on an Exit

I can't be the only one who's fascinated by the George W. Bush of the last month. For nearly a year, no one has paid any attention to the man that, believe it or not, is still technically the president of these United States. The reason for that is fairly simple, especially in retrospect. The election was an exciting process, promising to be extremely meaningful regardless of the outcome. Had John McCain been elected, many would have seen it as a conclusive statement of unchanging politics, where others would have seen it as a moment of sobriety and realism. On the other end, the election of either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama would have been hailed as a great moment in history. But it all really came from a terminal exhaustion. The majority of this country just got exhausted with G.W. Bush and his entire administration. We're officially living in a political age in which nothing's shocking anymore. In the past week, Mr. Bush altered endangered species laws abruptly and for no apparent reason. Did this get the attention of the big news outlets? Yep, for about five minutes.

A Not-So-Far Flung Shoe Story

Monday, December 15th 8:30am Dear Diary, Just saw that Bush has made his final visit to Baghdad, Iraq. But apparently, not all were glad to see him. During a meeting with the Iraqi prime minister, an Iraqi TV journalist threw his shoes at the president! I could hardly believe it when I saw the video! Bush avoided being hit by ducking, but it was very obvious that the journalist planned on hitting the President since the shoes were thrown with quite a bit of force. The journalist was hauled out of the room (naturally), but he wasn’t arrested or anything, which surprised me. I sure hope that doesn’t happen to me when I travel overseas. It would be pretty nasty, especially if I didn’t get a chance to duck. Then again, I didn’t start a pointless war that has already killed almost 100,000 Iraqi civilians. Wow, Bush has a lot of blood on his hands.

Favorability Ratings on the Rise

Monday, December 15th 9:30pm Dear Diary, That Wall Street Journal is a great paper. At least, I’m a big fan after they published an article talking about my favorability ratings. Apparently, it’s on the rise, up 10% from my approval rating in September. So 31% of the American people have a “very positive” view of me, up from September’s 21%. Not to mention, 69% of the respondents think I’m a positive role model for American women. Personally, I’m a bit surprised that more women don’t see me as a good role model, but I’m sure those numbers will increase soon, especially when I start some social programs of some sort as First Lady. Plus, it’s nice to know that only 16% view me as a negative influence on American women, and I’m sure that that cohort consists almost entirely of bigoted men who believe that a woman shouldn’t be given so much power. Well, to those voters, I say, “Too bad.” This woman is about to get a lot more power. Especially when I start my campaign for the presidency.

Obamas Denied Presidential Guest House

Sunday, December 14th 7:45pm Dear Diary, This is unbelievable. I am so outraged, I can’t hardly believe this hasn’t been made more of an issue. Newly elected commanders-in-chief and their families are allowed to stay at the Blair House five days prior to inauguration. We had just asked if we could would be allowed to move in a few days earlier so that Sasha and Malia could start school in DC immediately after the holiday break. But since Bush is insisting that his pre-scheduled events and guests take precedence over us, we will not be allowed to move in early. Basically, we’re not allowed to stay in the guest house because Bush wants to throw parties for his friends, and they don’t want to do it with the First Family living in the house. I’m curious to find out which guests outranked the incoming President. I am so upset over this. This would never have happened if John McCain had been elected, and he and Cindy were moving into the White House.

McCain Redeems Himself

Sunday, December 14th 1:00pm Dear Diary, After watching John McCain’s interview with George Stephanopoulos, I have a newfound respect for the man. He made some very insightful comments concerning Barack’s ties to Blagojevich and the role of the Republican Party. McCain not only reproached Republicans for putting such a huge focus on Barack’s relationship (however tenuous) to Blagojevich, he also brought up how unproductive it is for the Republicans to concentrate on this issue when there are a host of more important issues to confront. I have to applaud him for these comments, and for continuing to put his faith in Barack after losing the election to him. In McCain’s words:
“In all due respect to the Republican National Committee and anybody – right now, I think we should try to be working constructively together, not only on an issue such as this, but on the economy stimulus package, reforms that are necessary.

Friends of the Obamas

Saturday, December 13th
10:05pm

Dear Diary,

After reading the New York Times article about our friends, Valerie Jarrett, Martin Nesbitt, and Dr. Eric Whitaker, I can’t help but think about how much they have done for Barack and me. Before I even came into the picture, they were a close-knit group of friends for Barack. And they were so warm and welcoming for me, that I instantly fell in love with his friends. We’ve gone on vacations together, barbeques, tennis lessons, and been through thick and thin together – births, deaths, and all that’s in between.

But these guys were forced into the spotlight when Barack began running for office, and more so when he ran for the presidency. I imagine the public scrutiny has been difficult, but they’ve all come through as true friends, standing by Barack and me every step of the way. We’ve all gotten together more over the holidays, since that long campaign is finally over. And we’re all especially looking forward to another vacation in Hawaii together.

Crime and Punishment?

Saturday, December 13th 11:10pm Dear Diary, In thinking back over my last diary entry, where I talked about whether Barack will invoke the Executive Privilege, so often used by George W. Bush, I can’t help but wonder what will happen once Bush leaves office. Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales have already been indicted in Texas for abusing prisoners in federal detention centers. Cheney was indicted for showing a conflict in interest and engaging in organized criminal activity related to his investment in the Vanguard Group, one of the private companies running these the prisons. If that’s not enough, Gonzales was indicted for using his position to stop an investigation in 2006 into abuses at one of the privately-run prisons. And in my opinion, this just the tip of a very deep and very criminal iceberg. But what happens when Bush leaves office? George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and several others in the Bush Administration should be at least indicted for the host of crimes they’ve committed, from misuse of office and abuse of power to war crimes and treason. But will they?

Michelle Obama, Fashionista

Friday, December 12th 3:15pm Dear Diary, I have just learned that there will be a lipstick inspired by me, created by Khuraira. Apparently, my casual glamour was the inspiration for this. It’s going to be a shimmery bronze that is suppose to work with a multitude of different skin tones. However, what pleases me the most about this lipstick is that a percentage of it’s sales will go to combating breast cancer, which is wonderful. You can’t beat that kind of publicity. Not to mention, many of my close friends have battled breast cancer, and it means a lot to me to have my name associated with that disease in such a positive way. Of course, the sale of this lipstick follows the design of the Obama boot. A very fashionable high-heeled boot that is actually called “Obama.” It was designed for Coclico by Sandra, a French designer.

The Prophecies of Joe Biden

Friday, December 12th 2:45pm Dear Diary, If people will remember, I predicted that Barack would face some trials and tribulations within his first couple months of office. Yes, I did think that this crisis would be an international one and that it would come within the first few months of his presidency. So I was a little early, big deal. So I was wrong about the international component, a domestic crisis is just as bad, especially one that goes as high up as this scandal The point is that I predicted Barack would have to face a crisis, and he is. But this is quite a big deal. Even I don’t know exactly how Barack was connected with Blagojevich, and how much he really knew about the selling of his Senate seat. Barack denies having had real contact with Blagojevich within the past year, but who knows whether that’s true. I’d like to trust the guy, and I’m sure that’s true of most Americans (at least those who voted for him).

Joe Biden Commemorative Plate

Thursday, December 11th 7:35am Dear Diary, After google-ing my name, as I like to do from time to time, I discovered that someone has recently come out with a Joe Biden Commemorative Plate. On first glance, this seemed like a great idea. Until I watched the video… It’s an outrage! The Joe Biden Commemorative Plate almost seemed like the creators are making a mockery of me. I’m sure that I have fans out there, but who would buy that plate? It almost seemed like they were belittling the role that I played in getting a Democratic Administration back in the White House. To start, I disliked the way the narrator said, “Jooooe Biiiiiden.” Not to mention, he was a little too happy about my “clean hair and articulate teeth.” (What are “articulate teeth” anyway?!) And when he finally brought up how I was in the shadow of history, he was basically saying that I’m just a little paint and the real deal is Barack Obama. Seems like they’re really belittling my role, especially when the seemed almost make fun of my achievements, and my commute to and from Delaware. Well, to whoever created that plate – I hope nobody buys it.

Obama Selects Energy Secretary

Dr. Steven Chu, winner of the 1997 Nobel Prize in Physics, has been nominated by President-Elect Barack Obama to serve as the incoming administration's Secretary of Energy. He currently holds a post at the University of California at Berkeley. As seems to be the typical reaction to every one of Barack Obama's cabinet picks who aren't already familiar faces in Washington, both politicians and pundits are asking if Dr. Chu has the experience necessary to rise to the occasion of a major governmental post. Were Steven Chu not a highly accomplished professional in the same field as his proposed spot in the incoming cabinet, this would be a valid question. It seems that, though the election ended a month and a half ago, some people are still pursuing the smear campaign. Dr. Steven Chu is not Harriet Miers. He is qualified for  the job of Energy Secretary due to his experience in the field that has most recently become relevant to US energy concerns.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Wednesday, December 10th 10:05pm Dear Diary, Whew, it’s been a whirlwind of political activity since I last wrote in my diary. Well, first off, Barack and I had our meeting on Tuesday with Al Gore. It’s always nice to talk to the guy that once held my office. He was the last guy to rightfully hold this office, so I felt honored to meet with him. Not to mention the Nobel Peace Prize and all…. Well, anyway, we talked about the environment, naturally (no pun intended), and looked to Al Gore for advice as to whom Barack will nominate for the Environmental Team. Al Gore had a few suggestions, and I’ll be curious to see how many of them Barack takes to heart. Too bad Gore is so adamant about staying out of Washington. Apparently, he can get more done when he’s not directly involved in the political sphere. Still, he would have made a great Environmental Protection Agency administrator. In other news, I can’t believe all the corruption surrounding Barack’s Senate seat.

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