Swiftboating clearly just a relic of the past.

Swiftboating clearly just a relic of the past.

Thursday, October 9th


Dear Diary,

So sick of campaigning. Told David that we should just run television ads like John’s campaign manager lets him do, but was told to “stop whining, people think you’re young enough as it is without acting like a spoiled child.” Pointed out that he all he does is send e-mails to people who already like me while I am forced to face down mean old men who call me “that one” and as a result I probably have permanent mental scarring and will require years of psychotherapy. Was told that running for president was my own choice and that I “had to deal with the consequences of that decision.” Stuck out my tongue at him when I thought his back was turned, but was caught and threatened with being locked up like Sarah Palin.

Campaign managers think theyâ??re just so important.

In other news, have started to get paranoid after receiving phone call from John Kerry last night warning about something called ‘swift boating.’ Reminded him that I had no military record, was therefore safe from accusations of former war people, and really don’t like boats much at all, but was told that I “didn’t understand” and needed to think back to certain experiences in my past. Had brief, semi-related argument about current smoking habit. Said that millions of Americans would sympathize with current attempts to quit—Change! Hope! Hope for change!—but was countered with point that Americans seem to have found out about lung cancer.

Both Kerry and David apparently unimpressed by current lead in polls.

Hopefully yours,