Obama’s Long-Form Birth Certificate Released

Obama’s Long-Form Birth Certificate Released

Okay, all of you people grasping at straws as you attempt to discount President Obama’s right to be president: you win. No, he’s not being kicked out of the White House, but he and the rest of his administration just gave in to your nearly-terroristic demands (at least where face-stomping is concerned) and gave up his long-form birth certificate for all of you to ogle over, nitpick, and conspira-thize over. To quote Shakespeare, there, art thou happy?

You can see the document—which, I would think, should be protected under the privacy laws concerning medical documents, and pertains just as much to his poor mother’s privacy as it does to his own; this “birtherism” stuff if a complete affront to women and their honesty, health, and privacy, after all—here. You can also read the completely exasperated White House statement about its release (which basically sounds like a tired parent giving in to his five-year-old’s demands for a candy bar) here.

Glad we’ve cleared that up and spent tax dollars on such an important issue.

Now you’ll have to find some other stupid and meaningless little thing to squabble over. Of course, if the Tea Partiers would like to switch to something that’s actually meaningful and important—say, how the entire country’s social services have just been axed while the defense budget went significantly up, and tax cuts for the rich were continued without a hitch, both things you’d think they’d care about—it would be a refreshing change of pace.