Thursday, November 20th
Have not written for several weeks due to time-consuming process of choosing cabinet, finding future First Dog, and explaining to reporters that am not yet in charge of country and therefore cannot yet fix economy. However, was browsing internet today—future First Lady insists that am rotting brain with hours of reading blogs—and came across forum for saying goodbye to George. Have decided to write own letter.
I would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation for the unmitigated destruction that your administration has unleashed upon the American economy, environment, and population. Your unsound policies and offensive and discriminatory beliefs worked to convince the American public that the Republican Party is ineffective at best and extremely destructive at worst.
Your catastrophic two terms as president made my election significantly easier and for that I am eternally grateful.
PS. However, come January 20th, I will no longer be thankful for your misguided policies and will instead be furious that I will have to spend the next four years attempting to clean up after you and your mistakes.
Am rather proud of letter. Succinct, to the point, and does not include inappropriate words or phrases! (Was very difficult to avoid profanity.)