Dispatches from Conservative Talk Radio Part 1

Dispatches from Conservative Talk Radio Part 1

What They are Really Talking About

    I need to start with this article with a confession. I have been listening to conservative talk radio for the last eight years. Yeah, for more than one hour a day a couple of times a week. I know I don't seem like that guy and believe me I'm not. But I've had a job for the last eight hours; where my boss wanted to list Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck and all the other conservative pundits. And yes it was quite annoying but it did have some merit. This is not going to be an attack piece on conservative media there are enough of those. Consider this a primer. Some notes from the underground on an apathetic liberal listener who can give you the inside details on what goes on conservative talk radio and what they really think. So here we go.       

Sorry for the build up it's not like I am putting my life on the line for this article. Though if my boss found it he just might figure out that I am quite useless at my job and replace me. But it's worth the risk, right? Luckily for me the odds of him stumbling on to this site and reading this article are pretty much non-existent. The first thing you need to know about conservative talk radio listeners is that they like to keep to their own. It reminds me of first generation Italians when they came over on the boat. They would only shop at Italian grocers, only all Italian churches, and heck even the police officers better have some Italian in their genelogoly. Conservative listeners are exactly like the Italians in this regard. They only visit pre-approved websites like The Blaze, or Politico, or a few other conservative sites. They claim they research what other sites are saying but I can tell you they aren't. And if you aren't watching Fox News you aren't a conservative. Every radio host reiterates this telling the listner over and over that are only one that gets it right.       

But to try and check out one of the other news stations would be blasphmeous. You don't need to know what lies they are telling you because Michael Medved has already done the research. When talking about consevative radio and its listenrs you have to understand how strong the tie is between the two. In my eight years of working with said boss we would listen from nine in the morning till four in the afternoon. First off that much talk radio of any kind will make you want toblow your brains out but consevative talk does begin to have an averse effect. And the crazy thing is they don't really add much to the story. The first talk host is usually Glenn Beck or Dennis Miller or a local guy usually. They run down the headlines of the day. On slow news day these shows can really grind to a halt. Most of them other than Beck don't offer to much of a world view just kind of poke and make fun about the story usually beginning to give it the story a conservative bent. This is usually in the much more laid back fashion of "gee, I wish these damn liberals would get off our backs." They never get too angry or upset just light the fire and step back and watch it burn. I think this laid back approach is pretty smart. In the morning you're just waking up you don't want to hear theroies and reasons. You just want to wake up, get some coffee in you, and get to the first job. These shows give a basic rundown of the paper and start to set-up the late morning early afternnon shows.       

And in this case I am talking about one man Rush Limbaugh. He doesn't just dominate the eleven am to two in the afternoon shift. He owns it. It's his he invented and I can't think of a consevative talk radio listener whose dial is turned to him. There might be challengers are some stations in some markets but really at this point you might as well counter program. The first thing you need to know about Rush Limbaugh is that he's good at his job. Say what you will about the man politics he runs the hell out of his radio show. He keeps the show moving, he doesn't let bad callers take him off topic, and you know what he's good with the nicknames. These might be stupid reasons to praise a man but nicknames are the key to conservative talk radio. Every single talk radio host I've ever heard has pet names for the main five to ten liberals that are annoying them that year. Some of them are beyond cheesy; Mike Gallagher seems to be the worse at it. But Rush he can sum up someone with one perfect nickname. And it'll stick even after there dead. I still hear him refer to deceased Senator Robert Byrd as Sheets Byrd. Man, can't let a joke drop. It's in this Rush does his best work. He attacks liberals and their secret agenda all the while making quip about there lameness. He make you feel like your on his team and he has all the answers. It's a pretty intoxicating combo for a leader and he has been the unofficial head of the Republican Party for years. He sets the storylines, he decides who gets a pass, and who should be mocked incesstantly. I firmly believe his deep seeded hatred of John McCain kept him from making a better showing in the last election. It was funny Rush couldn't hide his hatred of one candidate even as he annointed his running mate a saint. Rush Limbaugh has the power to appoint Senators or destroy careers before they get going. He is aware of this power, but as a radio host he is the best. And if liberals want to overtake him one day they better study up.

Dispatches from Conservative Talk Radio Part 2