Average-paid Americans to be left behind

Average-paid Americans to be left behind

Where’s our doomsday shelter?

Though I have plenty of bad things to say about the Midwest where I live—from the redneckiness to the lack of diversity (or simply the disdain for it) to the general complacency juxtaposed against the conspiracy theorist gun hoarders—it’s actually a wonderful place, too. We have actual trees, for examples, and family farmers are often some of the kindest people you’ll meet. The area is filled with people you could call upon for help, unlike many other areas of the nation where people are too busy having a “Me Day” or whatever. Again, this is just from my personal experience.

Apparently the Midwest is also the place to be during the zombie apocalypse. Right now, there is a confirmed doomsday shelter being built beneath the soil of Kansas—millionaires only, of course—and it’s being labeled as a stack of so-called luxury flats. These apartments are supposedly built to withstand everything from a terrorist attack to solar flares, and only four people have spent millions of dollars on their own emergency flats so far.

It sounds like it will be big enough to provide for approximately 70 individuals, and will include a library (I wonder how many Ann Coulter books it will house, just out of curiosity), a school, a movie theater, and other essentials. Nothing but the best for these zombie survivors!

In all honesty, I doubt that this is anything new—or anything revolutionary. I’m sure that the haves of the world have already constructed plenty of post-apocalyptic shelters for themselves and their families, and John Cusack has nothing on any of them.

If there’s one thing that wasn’t promised to us in the constitution specifically, it was a doomsday shelter. I would think that to be covered under life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness—but since, you know, health care and food and such aren’t, why would post-apocalyptic survival?

It’s a big joke in the media right now—just how much attention should presidential candidates afford the big zombie apocalypse?—but if our rich citizens are already building underground chambers to survive it, maybe we should be a little more concerned about, oh, the end of the world or something. Didn’t Stephen Hawking say only last year that we should be concerned about finding a new place to live within the next 100 years? Maybe the spending habits of the stinky rich shouldn’t be an indication of what the rest of us should be concerned about, but when Stephen Hawking is talking, I think we should probably listen…