All's fair in fashion

All's fair in fashion

Friday October 10th


Dear Diary,

Up late last night intently studying latest interviews with Michelle Obama (John generally incapable of staying awake past 8, beginning to suspect is resorting to heavy narcotics for these 9pm debates). Grey Goose drowned out actual discussion of issues blah blah blah, but not to fear, was paying critical attention to what clearly matters most to American people in these troubling times: what she was wearing!!

On Larry King Live: Michelle chose purple frock; points for choice of color, as purple DEFINITELY in this season. However, deductions for odd feathery clip on left side. Overall, give Michelle B-. (Also, how is Larry King older than John but still has a neck?)

On The Daily Show: Oh no. She looks SERIOUSLY presidential. Blue skirt-suit could have gone the way of Hillary Clinton but she dresses it up with waist-accentuating belt and pearls. Forced to give her grudging A.

Speaking of Daily Show—Jon Stewart suggested to Michelle that First Lady could also become elected office! Prepared to up fashion game, as I suspect voting would fall along same lines as Prom Queen. Hear that, Michelle? Bring it on. The White House is MINE.

Since debacle on The View, have not been allowed near any media outlet not affiliated with Fox. But really, treatment of me and John by frumpy View ladies SO unfair! CNN complained my remark that Barbara Walters' tag-team “picked our bones clean” was out of touch with American People, who are apparently actually starving. Pshhhh, this is ONE multi-millionaire beer heiress who is not “out of touch”. Will contact CNN and show my compassion for plight of American People by saying they can always eat cake.

Must go, massive hangover from Grey Goose (you’d think I’d be immune to it by now. Wonder where John is keeping those narcotics…)



P.S. John asked for number of plastic surgeon this morning. Perhaps finally doing something about lack of neck, hooray!