(Read the last post here.) Conspiracy theories are fun. And sometimes they give us glimpses of legitimate concerns that people have about the world around them. But more often, conspiracy theories make the issues that are really important about something other than what they should be about. They distract us from the real problems of the world.

Consider the Illuminati conspiracies. Is there an elite, rich, powerful group of individuals (related to the Masons) that controls the world? Well, sort of. Rich, elite, powerful people have always controlled the world, pretty much since the invention of riches, and being elite, and being powerful. To dress it up as anything other than that draws attention away from systemic problems in society that cause us to revere those with money and turns it to people dressed in stupid hats doing weird rituals involving squares, compasses, and other various building tools.

The same problem exists with the 9/11 “Truth” movement. The real questions we should be asking are ones such as these: How has our domestic policy allowed security to get so lax that terrorists are able to pull of an attack of this scale with relative ease? How has our foreign policy (and perhaps our domestic policy) affected people in such a way that, instead of turning to the United States for aid, desperate individuals are convinced to attack us as an enemy? Are our law enforcement agencies so arrogant, or so ignorant, that they still have not yet come up with a way to securely and efficiently share information that could be used to save hundreds of thousands of lives? What kind of messages could we begin to send to the residents of Middle Eastern countries that may consider joining some of their countrymen and women in jihad against the United States? Should we send them warnings? Invitations? Threats? Messages of cooperation and peace?

Instead, assclowns like Dylan Avery and Alex Jones get press, and sell their silly little books, and peddle their silly little movies to crazy right and left-wing lunatics who sit in their compounds loading their guns and eating tofu (respectively) coming up with new ways in which the sinister Federal Monster is some day going to come to their compound and burn it down and blame it on the A-rabs. Matt Taibbi really deserves all of the credit that I might receive for being such a 9/11 Truth hater. And really, you could just go straight to the horse’s mouth for it, if you will. But what it boils down to is that conspiracy theories have a way of helping out the very people that are said to be “in control.” They make legitimate criticisms of their policies sound like crazy conspiracies simply by lumping all of their critics into the same camp (you remember that one, the “why do you hate America” camp).

So, the next time you see a 9/11 Truth Movement member, punch them in the mouth. Because violence is sometimes okay (even if it’s ethically inexcusable), simply because it’s funny to watch a stupid person get hit in the face. And, you’ll be doing a favor to the memories of the people who died very real, very horrific deaths because God told a bunch of morally detached fucks to wage war on innocent Americans on their way to work. Either way, deep down you’ll still be right, and they’ll still be crazy.

Fin.